To Be Absent in Body

Tonight I visited the wake of a dear sister in the Lord who passed on early Thursday morning. While there the words of another sister touched me deeply. The sister that died was actually the founder and pastor of her church and in the course of sharing with us she said that she was looking forward to a powerfully anointed service tomorrow morning because she fully believed that God could raise Sister Dolly from the dead. Listening to her I felt my faith leap and grow because we serve the same God that raised Lazarus from the dead after four days. The same God that arose from the dead himself after three days.

What I realised upon hearing her speak was that I had accepted her death as final. I had not enquired the will of the Lord in the matter but just accepted the situation as it was. I realised too that this could be happening in other areas of our lives as Christians where things happen and we just accept them as the will of the Lord, especially negative things. The situation might say, this is it (e.g. my marriage is over or I have an incurable disease or I can never change) but God is bigger than any situation, and no matter how dire it may seem, God can still turn it around. The stench of death can be quickly wiped away by the perfume of life.

So when the sister said that God can bring our sister back to life for His own glory I agreed wholeheartedly because I was reminded that I serve a great and mighty God.

I SEARCH FOR YOU

I search for you Lord
In the deserts
On the pinnacles of the mountains
Within the depths of the valleys

I thirst for you Lord
My soul longs for Your presence
My ear waits on Your word
My heart weeps for Yours

I hunger for You Lord
My heart trembles in need ofYou
Touch me Lord
Make me whole

Living a Perfect Life

Went to Bible Study tonight. I was really touched by a particular word that really penetrated my heart and mind. Our teacher spoke about living and walking different in the eyes of the world: our unsaved family, friends, co-workers etc. He emphasized that we can live perfect lives as Christ came and showed us in His walk on earth. What I realized as I listened to this word was that I had begun to use my humanity as a crutch to explain my falling short of God’s glory. I was wallowing in my frailty when I should be exulting in the victory I have over sin and death through Christ Jesus

Not that I had found myself in the throes of iniquity mind you but somehow in the back of my mind I expect to fail and so when I do I am like ‘Well I expected this, I’m only human.’ The mindset I should have is that “The battle is not mine but the Lord’s and His grace is more than sufficient to keep me.”

Not that I don’t expect to ever fall again but the difference is that my mind is predisposed to victory and not failure and in so doing I am not enabling my own self-destructive behaviour. (I hope I’m making some sense here :D.)

What A Friend We Have In Jesus

What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
Every thing to God in prayer


My heart rejoiced in this song today. Truly it set me free without my realising it. There were some people close to me whom I felt had wronged me. People I’d considered friends who would not utter an unkind word against me. I was wrong. Human nature being what it is and these individuals being the unsaved people they are, I tried to understand it but I just couldn’t let it go. Mind you, I said I had forgiven them but in my heart I really hadn’t and it showed every time they even came close to me. I’d feel that coldness settling in and speak only when necessary or when spoken to and even then very briefly.

Unforgiveness was depressing my days and I was not even aware of it. So in my self imposed exile today I began to sing this song, I can’t say why: it was not playing on the radio and I hadn’t even heard it at the funeral yesterday but there it was in my spirit. I sang the words over and over, letting them soothe my soul and nourish my spirit. No truer friend can we have than Jesus. Instead of causing us pains He carries them for us.
That’s how I felt today. Free. And I think I smiled my first genuine smile for 2006 when I realised that once again God has done it for me. He touched when and where I needed it most. He took away the hurt so that there’s only love, His love that they need to see and I need to show.

I press toward the mark

Phil 3:13-14
13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
(KJV)

The hardest thing for me to do is to forgive myself. I find it so much easier to forgive others, keeping in mind my own imperfections and God’s forgiveness of them. But forgiving my own folly seems so much more difficult. So it’s a new year and I’m going to follow my own advice and take it one day at a time. No looking back and self castigations about past failures but I’m going to move forward. God has great things in store for me. I just need to let Him have His way, have patience and His will be done.